Arrmaitee (arrmaitee) wrote,







SUMMARY: SLASH! PARODY!  You've all read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. But for those who crave an unauthorized, uncensored view of what really happened during the final book’s epilogue - nineteen years after Harry's saucy, slashy romp at Hogwarts - read on…


AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’d like to extend a special thanks to daylyn for her unfailing help and support with this fic. 



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Oh my god... what utter crack.

I love it.
Awesome! Glad you enjoyed it.
Oh God...

::collapses, laughing::
Whoo hoo!

(I LOVE your icon!)


9 years ago

"He keeps telling me ‘Oops, wrong hole’ is a kinky Wizard Sex game, but it’s not listed in Hogwarts: A History under Ministry-approved mating practices."
LMAO!!! This was wonderful!
Thank you!
That was just straight up HYSTERICAL. I love this epilogue. I should print it out and tape it into my book. :] Great job.
I think I will as well. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
"Your father's been in several Slytherins," Ginny muttered.

I couldn't help myself... :DD
teehee! I haven't read the book but I heard about the crappiest most sugar-coated epilogue ever! This beats it hands down, and JKR's epilogue is lying there taking it like the bitch it is :p LOL
Well you should read the book and then reread this fic right afterwards and you'll get a lot of the references I added in here. But the epilogue in the book is really underwhelming. Hence this fic :D
I totally shouldn't have read this drunk, dude. but I did. It's just too brainhurtingly good. and wrong. and everything. I'll probably re-read it sober and give you like a fully proper review and stuff, but. you know. Go to the top of the class.


You read it drunk? *laughs* It's just after noon here in LA so that seems bizarrely funny. Where do you live?


9 years ago


9 years ago

Oh, you are amazing. Best epilogue ever. Oh yes. And since you rewrote the epilogue, I can use my icon...


(and thanks for the feedback)


9 years ago

Lol. Seriously great crack fic.
Thank you!
This is hilarious. You win the Internets! XD
Awesome! Glad you enjoyed it!
OMG! I almost burst out laughing...except I'm in the library and that wouldn't be a good idea XD.
Oh come on... you didn't want to get thrown out of the library for laughing hysterically while everyone else watches you wondering what the hell are you looking at?

That's happened to me one. Good times!
I love you. I really do, this made me laugh so hard i thought I'd die. This is the way the book should have ended.

I agree.
“It’s not like Remus knocked Tonks up and was forced to have a shot-gun wedding, right, Harry?”

haha. ;)
You can than daylyn for that line. When she read the rough draft, she insisted that go in.
Haha! This is hilarious!

Deleted comment

I am tempted to do the same. :D
*dies laughing*
i will imagine this every time i read the real epilogue, lol
thanks for writing! u made my day *snickers in a corner*
Awesome. I am so glad you enjoyed it!
I've never laughed like this while reading a story before, and I mean it. Brilliant. If I were to quote everything I liked, I'd have to quote at least a half of the story, so I'll just stick to balding Draco, oh. my. God. Thank you sooo much for this, you rock!
Awesome. I'm so glad you loved it! And as for balding Draco, that was my favorite part, too. :D
*Is ded* You are a god.
Thank you! :D
Bawahahahahahahaha! Now that's an epilogue I can live with. Very Jerry Springer! In fact, I never watch the show, but I'd TIVO that one!

I was going for a Jerry Springer feel. :D
You are utterly, totally, thoroughly, unashamedly and UNSPEAKABLY warped.

I knew there was a reason I liked you.
You are absolutely, positively spot on...


i like your version much better <3 hehehehe
I honestly almost wet myself!

My very favorite parts: "Because we live in a fucking tent in Hyde Park, Harry!"

"Your father's been in several Slytherins," Ginny muttered. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Victoire being a hermaphrodite, Ginny shagging Dudley, Ron "measuring." Too priceless!
Awesome! Those are a lot of moments. I certainly strived for that!
I have now accepted this parody as my truth.

Thank you.
That makes two of us!
*snorts* ZOMG how fucking brilliant is that :D I laughed out loud all the time, there by confusing everyone else in the room but I couldn't help it :D So cool (though I'm not an epilogue hater ;) )

100 points to ... hmm Slytherin, perhaps?
Definitely Slytherin. Thanks!
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