Arrmaitee (arrmaitee) wrote,
Arrmaitee
arrmaitee

NEW FIC!

Epilogue

by

Arrmaitee

WARNING: DH SPOILERS!

 

SUMMARY: SLASH! PARODY!  You've all read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. But for those who crave an unauthorized, uncensored view of what really happened during the final book’s epilogue - nineteen years after Harry's saucy, slashy romp at Hogwarts - read on…

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’d like to extend a special thanks to daylyn for her unfailing help and support with this fic. 

 

WARNING: DH SPOILERS!

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“It’s not like Remus knocked Tonks up and was forced to have a shot-gun wedding, right, Harry?”

It explains a lot of Remus' weird behaviour, doesn't it.

Thank you for giving us something entertaining to do rather than just tearing our hair out of JKR's version.
As far as I'm concerned that's canon!

Thanks for reviewing. I'm really glad you liked it.
XD
i think you've killed me, i was laughing so hard =]
Awesome!
YOU ARE BRILLIANT.
Thank you!
WHY WASN'T THIS HOW IT ACTUALLY ENDED, DAMNIT?!!!!

Actually, I think I'm going to print this out, rip out the last chapter of DH, and replace it with this.

Fuck was that a terrible epilogue.

I ADORE YOU AND YOUR MOCKERIES.
*hugs*

I am tempted to do the same thing!
'Suddenly, a sexy black-haired witch with flaming red eyes and a bad nose job approached them, her eyes fixed firmly on Harry.

"Who’s that?" he asked, instinctively reaching for his wand.'

LMFAO! I'm not sure if that was supposed to be dirty, but it certainly sounded that way. This was... absolutely... hilarious! I actually didn't mind the real epilogue, but I think I prefer this one anyway.

Thank you so, so much. This has made my day.

Awesome! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I'm a little scared, but definitely more amused. <3 at Female Goyle XD'

SO much better than the real Epilogue <3
Thank you! I love Drag!Goyle :D
Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year. The morning of the first of September was crisp and golden as an apple, and as the little family bobbed across the rumbling road toward the great sooty station, the fumes of car exhausts and the breath of pedestrians sparkled like cobwebs in the cold air.

"What the hell’s that supposed to mean?" Harry snarled, entering King's Cross station


Ahahahaha. Wonderful.

Ginny pulled out a flask of firewhiskey and took a long swig. "Because we live in a fucking tent in Hyde Park, Harry!"

o.o!!

"No wonder Mum wanted us to give our love to him."

At this point I had to laugh and say out loud, "This is horrible!"
...although the next line shocked me MORE.

"MPreg," Draco said. "J.K. secretly reads fanfiction."

YESSS!

"Don't worry, Harry. Ron likes ass, too," she said. "He keeps telling me ‘Oops, wrong hole’ is a kinky Wizard Sex game, but it’s not listed in Hogwarts: A History under Ministry-approved mating practices."

;D

"Yes, you can move in with us," Harry replied. "Actually you can share my bed because my wife would love to sleep on the living room sofa."

Ewwwww. Well, it's better than Teddy/James, I think. I think.

MARRIED YOU OUT OF PITY BECAUSE YOU WERE SO DESPERATE TO MARRY HARRY FUCKING POTTER AND BECAUSE DRACO, LUCIUS, RON, GEORGE, PERCY, BILL, CHARLIE AND YOUR FATHER WERE ALL UNAVAILABLE AND BECAUSE SEVERUS, SIRIUS, REMUS, ALBUS, CEDRIC, FRED AND TOM RIDDLE WERE ALREADY DEAD!

Best. Sentence. Ever.


And after all those comments....all I can say is 'Wow.'
OH MY GOSH! ...I couldn't stop giggling. That was just WRONG...and I loved it. :)
This is so very wrong. And so very funny. Thank you for ruining my childhood in such an awesome way!
*ROFLMAO*

Jesus, my stomach hurts from all the laughing!
Ahahahahahahahahahahaha. This was far too funny. Especially since I hate Ginny. Buahaha. I hated the original ending, so thank you.
This is the funniest shit I've ever read. Well done you!
YOU WIN.


:D Best ever.
*hugs*
Oh my GOD. I loved every word. Lily jumping the train to try to make it to Hogwarts! Voldette! I laughed so freaking hard!
Awesome! I'm really glad you liked it :D
Win! please claim your slice of internet pie at your earliest opportunity.

oh Good Gods, I'm crying I'm laughing so hard.
I love me some internet pie :D

Thank you!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
*hugs*
I laughed so hard that even my CAT was giving me strange looks. XDDD That was epic hilarious.
Now that's funny :D LMAO!
im crying
laughing so bad im crying
i love you!
you should def. do another!
"Um… is Victoire a man or a woman?" Scorpius asked.
"It's actually a hermaphrodite," Draco said, smirking.

That's exactly what I thought when I read it lol. Hilarious!
YOU ARE MADE OF SO MUCH WIN.

I love that last part about Ginny refusing to use Polyjuice. FUNNY. OMG. I need to go breathe now.
HAHAHAHA because, of course, they're putting on a huge show in order to get alone not-parents time *giggle*

...I wonder if I pull something lik ethat I'd finally get some alone time with my Mate?

Nah, my kids'd just join in the screaming *snigger*

That was HILARIOUS as always. thou art brilliant!
That was SO awesome. Love it!
Lmao...wow, I was cracking up there. Thank God I'm home alone or I'd have to explain that.

Great, great, hysterical.
This made me laugh so. much. Definitely a huge relief after the horror of JKR's epilogue. XDD
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!


LOVE it!!
Thank you!
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