Arrmaitee (arrmaitee) wrote,







SUMMARY: SLASH! PARODY!  You've all read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. But for those who crave an unauthorized, uncensored view of what really happened during the final book’s epilogue - nineteen years after Harry's saucy, slashy romp at Hogwarts - read on…


AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’d like to extend a special thanks to daylyn for her unfailing help and support with this fic. 



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That was incredible(ly cracked)!
I loved it! ...and prefered it to the hazy saccharin that was the real Epilogue o_o. I am not sure which bit I found the most hysterical (aside from Harry and Ginny's oddish marriage) George practicing bondage with the ghost of his dead twin or this bit:

Hermione shot him a menacing glare. "(S)he's an intersex individual, Malfoy."


*hugs* I'm really glad you liked it.

As for the intersex joke, there actually is an Intersex Society for hermaphrodite rights. I kid you not.

Gawd! That was sooooo funny!

(And I love your animated ROFL)
Ohmigod, so...much...crack... *dies* Seriously though, that was great. *applauds*
Thanks. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAA! Oh, that's beautiful! And a whole new dysfunctional generation for Hogwarts.
My thoughts exactly!
*helpless with laughter*

Outstanding work! :D
Thank you!

And I love your icon!


9 years ago


9 years ago

And that, ladies and gents, is how the epilogue should've ended the book. LMFAO!

Boo on Harry/Ginny shipping, though.
Hey, I didn't rewrite canon, I reinterpreted it. I would have been much happier if she offed Ginny instead of George, but I took the crumbs that she gave us and did this.

But I agree, Harry/Ginny is a bit nauseating.
I'm stapling this one over the end of JK's epilogue when I get my book back off my boyfriend. Thank you =p
That's awesome!

That is without a doubt the best Harry Potter fanfiction I have ever read, EVER.

Here. Have the internet. It's yours.
Thank you so much!
My Gods that was great!!! "J.K. secretly reads fanfiction." Love it!! Although I liked the way the original wrapped things up, this was a much better epilogue.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked my alternative ending!
Bwahahahaha...thoroughly enjoyable.
ROFL. Marry me? ♥ This is ridiculously funny. Just simply fantastic!
Thank you! I'm glad you had a good laugh!

This is pretty much the BEST THING EVER. I bet more fans would be satisfied with the ending if you wrote it. Even if it is crazy funny. It's better than what JK wrote... GREAT JOB. :P


It was hilarious, kept me laughing all the way through. :DD
Can you imagine if someone slipped this ending into the printing press in lieu of J.K.s? OMG - the Harry/Ginny fans would just die!
That was soooo funny. HAHAHAHAHAHA *rolls on floor* Harry was a slut. HAHAHAHA Goyle in a dress. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ginny and Hermione in a catfight. oh the hilarity. cant. stop. laughing.
Awesome. Glad u enjoyed it!
They should print THIS in the Deathly Hallows, instead of that JK's. This is bloody brilliant. oh my god. :'DDD


Thank you! I wouldn't mind being published :D
"It’s Voldette," Teddy said. "She's the bastard love child of Luna Lovegood and the Dark Lord. I used to date Voldette during my fifth year and now she sends Nargles to perform the Cruciatus curse on all of my girlfriends."

I love Voldette. I'm glad you do, too.
I had tears in my eyes while reading this.. So damn funny XD Much better than the original.
Awesome. Thank you!
"Your father's been in several Slytherins," Ginny muttered.

"My husband’s patronus is a stag and his former potion master’s was a doe. I can do the math, honey."

*cackles with laughter* Awesome.

And I love your icon!
Wa ha ha~ >___< ~♥
This is perfect, I'm rolling and my friends are looking at me oddly! Great job.
Whoo hoo! It's fun when that happens.

I needed that laugh - so thanks! :D

This, of course, was probably the epilogue that JKR wanted to write, as corrupted by slashers and fanficcers as she must be by now. (See how many times Harry had to get naked in the final book, plus the wand jokes and the "Snarry" moments.... aah heaven. ;)
Oh I agree. She was probably dying to have some shagging going on in the seventh book, so she elected to have massive procreation instead.
I was sent to read this by a friend and about peed my pants laughing. Bloody brilliant!
Awesome. Who recced it?


9 years ago

I choked on a piece of candy laughing my ass off.
Yikes! I hope you are ok :D
OMG wow, thank you. That was worth thing about the epilogue
"This is my son Scorpius and my wife Goyle."

I was on the floor at that point. OMG O.o

I think that and Voldette were my two best calls in the fic.
*rolling in the aisles*
I actually needed that to be the REAL epilogue, it was classic and far more satisfying!!! XD

Thank you so much for writing and posting this, it made my day!

Glad you enjoyed it!
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