Arrmaitee (arrmaitee) wrote,

Seven Days - Chapter 5

Seven Days - Chapter 5

September 17, 1996. Wednesday.

Still Day 2

“That was your Mum?” Draco gasped in horror.

Harry paled considerably, struggling feebly under the ropes that bound him to Malfoy’s bed.

“You didn’t know?” Harry asked, astounded.

“Well, I do now,” Malfoy smirked.

“Bugger,” Harry replied, brooding over his unnecessary admission. “So what IS your price, Malfoy?”

“I don’t know,” Draco replied. “I’m sure I’ll think of something reeeeal good.”

“I’m sure you will,” Harry snarled, struggling under the ropes. “Aren’t you gonna untie me?”

“Certainly,” Draco replied. He lifted his wand and uttered a spell, releasing Potter from his constraints. “Now that I can blackmail you, I really don’t need the rope anymore.”

Harry glared at the blonde. “There’s something I don’t understand. If you didn’t know that my Mum was in the video, then why on earth would you kidnap me to show me that horrid tape?”

“I wanted to see if you were a virgin,” Draco replied.

“WHAT?!!” Harry gasped.

“I’m only joking,” Draco lied. “I figured you could help me decipher who the mystery man on the videotape is. All my friends are either stupid, nuts or in a coma, so I had to outsource. That’s why I abducted you. Though I was also a bit curious whether you buggered that skanky Ravenclaw.”

“My girlfriend is not a skank! And whether I’ve shagged her is none of your business, Malfoy.”

“Touchy today, Potter?” Draco asked.

“I AM NOT TOUCHY!” Harry bellowed.

“My point exactly,” Draco replied. “Now, as I was saying before I got yelled at, I wanted to see if you received an owl after you watched the videotape.”

“What are you talking about?” Harry asked.

Draco explained to Harry about what happened with Blaise, Millicent and Pansy, and about how he received an owl message stating that he would be deflowered in “seven days.” After finishing his forlorn tale of woe, he looked over at Harry, who was now seething.

“So you wanted me to get fucked by the videoman, too?! Is that it, you sick fuck?!”

“Misery loves company,” Draco replied.

“Oh sod off, Malfoy,” Harry shouted, getting up to leave.

“Umm… you’re not going anywhere, Potter,” Draco said.

“And how’re you gonna stop me?” Harry snarled.

“Well, for starters, I can show your Mum in action to the whole bloody school.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Harry rasped. “Then the entire school would get letters. This is a fanfic based on the quixotic novels of J.K. Rowling. We’re supposed to have our first kiss in our fifth year, our first hand job after we’re married, and our first bang when we’re fifty! You can’t show that tape, Draco! Too many sexually deprived, virginal students will be affected!”

“It’s a small price to pay for revenge,” Draco replied. “Given that I’ve already received MY owl, I have nothing more to lose.”

Harry gave Malfoy a death glare and then sat back down on the bed. “Fine,” Harry pouted. “What are you terms?”

“I want you to help me figure out the identity of the mystery bloke who is going to shag me senseless in less than five days. Then we can find out how we can stop him.”

“And, if I agree to help you, then you promise you’ll destroy that video?” Harry asked.

“Malfoy’s honor,” Draco lied.

“I don’t trust you,” Harry stated firmly.

“I wouldn’t trust me either,” Draco replied. “But then again, you don’t have much of a choice.”

Harry snickered.

“What’s so funny?” Draco asked.

“Nothing,” Harry giggled.

“Nothing?” Draco inquired. “You’re so full of shit, Potter.”

Harry repressed a chuckle, but it wasn’t working very well.

“It’s just that… I can’t believe… you’re still a virgin, Malfoy,” Harry stammered between laughs.

“Oh, funny… ha ha,” Draco mocked. “Excuse me for having standards about the people I shag…”

“It just that… well with your reputation,” Harry snickered.

“My reputation?”

“Well, Pansy has been bragging about your Malfoy endowment…”

“What?! I’m gonna kill that bitch!” Draco replied. “We barely even dated!”

Harry was amused. “I see… Let me guess… were you saving yourself for someone else, Malfoy? Someone special?”

“As a matter of fact, I was,” Draco replied defiantly.

“Really?” Harry asked.

“Really,” Draco replied.

“Well, who’s the lucky girl, Malfoy?”

“I never said it was a girl,” Draco replied, not blinking.

Harry’s eyes widened. “Excuse me for that [cough] oversight. Who’s the lucky bloke, Malfoy?”

“You don’t want me to answer that question, Potter,” Draco stated.

“Oh, I certainly do,” Harry replied. “You can tell me. Maybe I can even help you boys get together… after you destroy the tape, that is…”

“You really don’t want me to answer that question, Potter,” Draco stated again.

“Oh, I really do. Who are you saving your virginity for, Malfoy? What’s the lucky boy’s name?”

“Harry,” Draco replied. “Harry Potter.”

Harry paled considerably. Before he could reply, Cho burst into the room followed by Albus Dumbledore, Professor Snape and Professor Lupin.

“THERE HE IS!!!!” Cho shrieked, pointing at Malfoy and then rubbing her teary eyes. “TAKE HIM AWAY!!!!”

“Come with me now, Mr. Malfoy,” Albus said sternly. “Harry, you’re free to go.”

“Wait,” Harry said. “There’s been a terrible mistake.”

Albus raised his eyebrow. Snape furrowed his eyebrow. Draco was stunned.

“You see… um… Malfoy and I were… um… a bit concerned about these death threats that I… um… had been receiving from Voldemort and… uh… we decided to plan a kidnapping on school grounds to see if I could actually be… er… abducted and…”

“Harry, what are you talking about?” Cho snarled. “Are you suggesting that you planned this with… that ferret?!”

“I needed to see if Hogwarts security would adequately protect me from an attack. Obviously, given that Malfoy was able to… er… seize me and hold me hostage for over a half hour in the Dungeon without triggering an alarm, I definitely… um… need better protection.”

“Then why the fuck didn’t you tell me about this before I got maced, Potter?” Cho yelled.

“Because, if I told you about the mock attack beforehand, then that would have… um… completely undermined the secret plan.”

“Yeah,” Draco added. “Harry and I talked about including you, but he wanted to make it as real an abduction as possible. That’s why I didn’t use magic. I didn’t want to trigger the school alarms.”

Albus looked at Draco approvingly. “Well I guess I was mistaken,” Albus said. “Good work, both of you. Fifty points to Slytherin and Gryffindor for your ingenuity. I will definitely have to look into better security for our students.” Albus turned to face the incensed Ravenclaw Seeker. “And five points to Ravenclaw for your troubles, Miss Chang.”

“Headmaster, tell me you don’t actually believe this codswallop,” Snape scoffed.

“Oh Sevvy, you’re just jealous because they didn’t kidnap you,” Remus quipped.

“I am not going to dignify that, Wolfie,” Snape snarled, exiting the room. Albus and Remus followed, leaving Cho, Harry and Draco alone together.

“Harry, I can’t believe you! I can’t believe you let him do this to me! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY FUCKING EYES! YOU LET THAT BLOODY FERRET MACE ME!”

“Will you stop whining,” Harry whined.


Cho stormed out of the room. Harry and Draco looked at each other for a moment, suddenly realizing where they had left off before they were rudely interrupted.

“Thanks,” Draco said.

“Don’t mention it,” Harry replied.

“I didn’t… I mean… what I said earlier… I didn’t mean…” Draco stammered.

“It’s okay,” Harry replied, patting Draco on the back. “For what it’s worth, I know what its like to save myself, too.”

“You mean, you’re still a virgin, too?” Draco gasped.

“Yep,” Harry replied.

“Then why didn’t you receive a letter?” Draco asked.

End of Chapter 5

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Tags: harry potter, humor, parody, slash
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