A Very Snarry Romance
Arrmaitee and DaylynSUMMARY:
SLASH! PARODY! Harry Potter wakes up and suddenly realizes that he’s gay and that he wants to shag the potions master. But will Hermione help him seduce the greasy git?( Collapse )Chapter 1: The Revelation
“Hi. My name is Harry James Potter, and I’m a homosexual.”
No, that just sounds stupid. I should start again.
“Hi, I’m Harry. And you must be Snapey, I mean… Snape.”
Bugger! Pick up lines are harder than I thought. You’d think by the time I turned sixteen that these kinda things would be easy, but I have no real experience with relationships (other than that ridiculous tryst with She-Who-Must-Not-Stop-Sobbing). Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Pretending to hit on Snape. Let me give it one more try.
“Hi, I’m Harry. Harry Potter. You probably remember me from detention or from Double Potions class or even from Occlumency lessons, but I have something GREAT to tell you. You see, last night I went to bed thinking that I’m straight and that I was gonna marry Ginny Weasley, move into a flat in London, raise a family and lead a normal superhero life… but then everything changed. I realized when I woke up that I’m gay and I want to shag you silly! Isn’t that exciting?!”
All right, maybe the blunt approach wouldn’t work well either. Snape is definitely the ne plus ultra
of chicken hawks, but I have a feeling that the frigid rooster’s gonna play hard to get. After all, it isn’t all that often that an incredibly hot, newly buff, sixteen-year-old celebrity seduces his greasy, scrawny yet devastatingly sexy thirty-six-year-old potions master. He'd probably be suspicious of my advances, and I wouldn't want to make him... nervous.( Collapse )