December 26th, 2005

Cedric Rubber Gloves: astralis_lumen

New Fic!

The UNAUTHORIZED Goblet of Fire

by

Arrmaitee and Daylyn



SUMMARY:

SLASH! PARODY! You've all seen the film… several times. But for those of you craving an unauthorized, uncensored view of what really happened during Harry's saucy, slashy fourth year at Hogwarts, read on…

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FADE IN:

Out of the blackness emerges a pile of skulls. The camera pans towards Nagini slithering out of an ominous cranium as we read the title:

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN II
HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE



INT. DARK ROOM - NIGHT

An old man is about to set himself on fire when he sees a light flickering on and off in the abandoned mansion next door.

OLD MAN
Another rave? I'll kill those bloody kids!


INT. ABANDONED MANSION - NIGHT

Inside the mansion, the old man climbs up a rickety staircase until he hears hushed voices coming from upstairs. He stands outside the room and sees Wormtail and Barty Crouch Jr. fawning over the bastard love child of E.T. and the Grim Reaper.

OLD MAN
(eavesdropping)
What the fuck?
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