Arrmaitee (arrmaitee) wrote,
Arrmaitee
arrmaitee

...And Then He Hit Puberty


…And Then He Hit Puberty

the untold story of Harry Potter


by

Arrmaitee



SUMMARY:

SLASH! PARODY! Rita Skeeter exposes Harry Potter's untold story of what happened after he hit puberty… based solely on unauthorized, uncorroborated interviews.


DISCLAIMERS:

...And Then He Hit Puberty is RATED PG-13 and including lots of SLASH!

This parody is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, and various publishers, including but not limited to: Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made by this story and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.


**************************************


Once upon a time there was a disturbed boy named Harry Potter who was prophesized to achieve great things. He was expected graduate from Hogwarts, duel to the death with the Dark Lord, and become a magnificent auror, a superb international quidditch player and the future Headmaster at Hogwarts. Indeed, our readers had high expectations for The Boy Who Lived… and then he hit puberty.

This is Harry Potter's untold story… deliciously unauthorized… based solely on uncorroborated interviews, by yours truly, Rita Skeeter.


INTERVIEW #1:

LORD VOLDEMORT



"Lord Voldemort, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule murdering civilians in order to do this unauthorized, uncorroborated interview. Our readers are literally dying to hear your point of view."
- Rita

"I'm sure they are, Rita… And do call me, Voldie."
- Lord Voldemort

"Certainly, Voldie. Why don’t you tell me about your relationship with the Potter boy."
- Rita

"Harry and I had a very special relationship. We were foils… arch enemies. There was a certain karmic balance between us that was not supposed to be disturbed."
- Lord Voldemort

"I see…"
- Rita

"Maybe I should elaborate, Rita. I, too, had a prophecy once. After a minor consultation fee and a few death threats, Sibyll Trelawney prophesized that I would die in the height of my glory in a DUEL TO THE DEATH WITH HARRY POTTER! Now I'm a big fan of Muggle guerilla war epics, so this sounded like Apocalypse Now Revisited. And honestly, I was quite excited when the Potters finally spawned Harry because I had high expectations for our… relationship."
- Lord Voldemort
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Tags: harry potter, humor, parody, slash
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