So I finally finished reading HBP. I know, I should have finished it on Saturday like everybody else. daylyn was actually calling me every single day saying:
"Have you finished yet? Have you finished yet? Have you finished the fucking book yet?"
And, of course:
"Don't you dare look at your friend's list until you're finished. Actually, don't even go online. The bloody trolls are posting spoilers everywhere!"
But now I'm back and I have a few thoughts about HBP.
1) Tonks? TONKS? I mean, could Remus have stated any clearer that he was not interest in her because he was GAY? Maybe I've read too much slash fanfiction, but I am still a wee bit stunned that Remus/Tonks is now canon.
2) Snape/Draco is now officially canon. SQEEEEE! Not that I am a "Snaco" fan, but it's nice to see J.K. throw a bone to the slash fanfic authors after she thoroughly decimated the Snape and Draco SHIPs.
3) Snarry fanfic authors are screwed at the moment. Even if Snape were "innocent," I highly doubt that the ghost of Albus would be visiting Harry in Book 7 and praising Snape for following his "specific instructions" regarding his EXECUTION in front of The Boy who Lived.
4) Harry/Draco fans will have problems, too. Now all of the forthcoming H/D fics are going to be called "Chasing Draco," "Obsession: Draco," "Healing the divide," and "How to shag a Runaway Death Eater in three easy lessons."
5) I have no words for "Ginny Sue" at the moment. But isn't it remarkable that Ginny is really popular with the boys, even Pansy finds her sexy, Harry suddenly realizes that she's the girl he never knew that he's always wanted and... um... she just happened to beat out Cho Chang at Quidditch, a trained Ravenclaw seeker, even though Ginny hasn't played seeker since last year? OMG - isn't she just PERRRRFECT?! Give me a fucking break. HBP should be slammed on deleterius for this crap.
6) Now I realize that JK likes to steal material from other books *cough* Lord of the Rings *cough* and from mythology. But what the fuck was she doing ripping off Spiderman? "Oh M.J., I love you so much but I can't be with you because Spiderman will always have enemies." Sound familiar?
7) I am still in shock about Remus/Tonks.
8) I really think the line, "I AM THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE" was arguably the worst line in the book. I'm sure Sexy Sevvy, a 36 year old man, would really say that in the heat of passion, even if he knew that Harry was reading his old textbook. Moreover, why would he EVER have called himself the HBP, even then? That sounds ever so horribly out of character.
9) Did anyone feel like the funeral scene reminded you a wee bit of "The Circle of Life" from The Lion King?
10) Overall, I liked the book. It was very fanficish, which I actually enjoyed. Moreover, I am happy that this book gave me a hell of a lot of new material to mock in my forthcoming parodies.