Arrmaitee (arrmaitee) wrote,




Arrmaitee and Daylyn

Authors' Note: This is our contribution to the Haunted Halloween Challenge.

Harry didn’t have blackouts very often – just on Halloween, usually before he was about to have sex. The first sex-related blackout came during his seventh year at Hogwarts. Harry and Ginny had the perfect plan to lose their virginities – they would meet in her dorm room while all her dorm mates were enjoying the Halloween Feast and get it on.

Harry arrived wearing a thin black mask and carrying a box of Weasleys' Wildfire Witch-bang condoms, ready to rumble. Ginny was waiting for him, wearing nothing but two cobweb pasties and a matching thong. She pulled Harry into a passionate kiss and then began to take off his mask.

Suddenly he blacked out. When he awoke, he was naked, had a splitting headache and his arse was sore and sticky. A used canister of orange and black Crisco lay at his side. Harry first assumed that Ginny had improvised – until he found her decapitated head lying next to him on her bed. A bloody chainsaw lay on the floor.

The next Halloween, Harry was still at Hogwarts, working as an Assistant Professor. He had gotten back together with Cho, who was determined to stop sobbing over her dead boyfriend’s decomposing corpse and to take her relationship with Harry to the next level.

Concerned about his prior Halloween debacle, Cho decided that she would tie Harry up in the secret hideout in the Astronomy Tower before she played free willy. Harry arrived just before midnight with an eye patch and industrial strength rope. But just after Cho secured him to the conjured four poster bed, he blacked out. Again.

Harry awoke to find his hands untied, his arse remarkably loose and sticky, and Cho dangling from the rafters with a noose around her neck.

Harry was never charged with murder, but he was nonetheless concerned that the next time someone turned up dead after a failed sexual rendezvous with him that he would lose his job and be sent to Azkaban. The following year Harry took a vow of celibacy during Halloween, and barricaded himself in his office in Gryffindor Tower. However, that didn’t stop Hedwig from delivering the following note:

Harry, meet me in the graveyard at midnight if you want to find out why Remus always calls me Nympho-dora when I'm bad.

Harry was determined to ignore Tonks, despite the fact they had a clandestine affair several months earlier.

When Harry didn't arrive, Tonks went looking for him. The next morning, they found her body lying next to Harry in his office. She was strangled. Harry had a splitting headache and his arse was remarkably chafed. Although Harry insisted that he blacked out after Tonks had broken into his office and pounced on him, the Ministry didn't believe his tale. They sentenced him to life imprisonment in Azkaban.

However, in a desperate attempt to avoid the public outcry for condemning the Chosen One, the Ministry approved Hermione's request for Harry to return to Hogwarts' North Tower on the following Halloween. Sibyll Trelawney claimed that she could divine exactly what happened during Harry's blackouts.

And so our tale begins:

"Look into my Inner Eye," Sibyll said, gesticulating madly over an opaque crystal ball and a decapitated ferret. "You are getting sleepy. Very sleepy!"

Harry grimaced and looked over at Hermione and Ron, who were watching intently.

"I'm better off in Azkaban," Harry muttered under his breath. He shifted in his seat, but his shackles restrained him.

"Now inhale and exhale in a rhythmic pattern,” Sibyll said. “Imagine yourself filling up with liquid, and with each breath the water flows from your head to your lowest extremities."

"Wouldn't I suffocate?" Harry asked. Hermione glared at him.

"I will count backwards from fifty,” Sibyll continued, ignoring his interruption. “And when I reach the number one you will be under my control. 50. 49. 48. 47. 46."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Harry said.

"Four. Three. Two."

"Did you just skip…?"


Harry's eyes closed and he faced Sibyll, entranced.

"Harry,” she said.


"What is your full name?"

"Harry James Potter."

"When were you born?"

"July 31, 1980."

"When did you first lose your virginity?"

"He doesn't have to answer that!" Hermione shrieked.

"The Inner Eye is curious, m'dear," Sibyll said.

"But it's patently inappropriate!"

"A not surprising outburst from one who does not, will not, and cannot See," Sibyll said. "Answer the question, Harry."

"October 31, 1997," Harry replied.

"The night Ginny died?" Hermione asked, surprised.

Sibyll gave Hermione an 'I told you so, honey' look. She turned to Harry. "What happened on that night?"

"I arrived at Ginny's dorm at about seven p.m. She was waiting for me. We were going to fuck."

"You bastard," Ron shrieked. "That's my sister you're talking about."

Ron lunged towards Harry. Hermione restrained him so that he would not interrupt the session.

"We were in Ginny's room," Harry continued. "She reached over to pull off my mask."

"And?" Sibyll and Hermione both asked simultaneously.

"I don't remember."

"Harry, the Inner Eye commands you to remember! REMEMBER!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, but paused when she saw sweat beading on Harry's forehead and trickling down his face. Harry fell forward, convulsing. Blood started hemorrhaging from his nose and ears. His shackles restrained him.

"Stop it!" Hermione shrieked. "What are you doing to him! You're killing him!"

"This is just a minor setback," Sibyll explained reasonably.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Harry screamed. Then he fell silent, his cries still echoing throughout the room.

"We should end for the day," Hermione said shakily. She removed Harry's shackles and knelt by Harry, wiping the blood off his face with a handkerchief. Harry collapsed onto the ground.

“Bring him out of the trance,” Hermione instructed Sibyll.

“This is a mistake,” Sibyll argued. "The tea leaves have advised me against it."

“Bring him out of the trance,” Hermione insisted.

“There will be dire consequences.”

“NOW!” Hermione ordered.

Sibyll sighed. “Harry, when I count to five you will be awake. One. Two. Three. Four. Five."

Harry's eyes opened. He looked around the room nervously, then touched his face and felt the blood flowing from his ears and nose. The bleeding subsided.

"What happened?" Harry asked. "I… what am I doing on the floor?"

“Come on, Harry,” Hermione said, helping him to sit up. “Let’s get you out of here.”

"Wait," Harry rasped. He looked at Hermione, and then over at Ron. Unsteadily, he climbed back onto his chair. "I remember."

There was an eerie silence in the room. All eyes were on him.

"What d'you remember, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Everything," Harry replied. "I remember everything."

"Tell us what happened on the night of October 31, 1997," Sibyll said.

"I was in Ginny's dorm room," Harry replied. "We were about to have sex when there was a knock on the door. I opened it and Ron was standing there, clutching a chainsaw."

"WHAT?" Hermione shrieked.

"It was Halloween,” Ron said defensively. “I wanted to show my sister my authentic Chainsaw Massacre costume."

"A likely story," Hermione huffed.

"Ron started screaming at Ginny when he saw her attire,” Harry continued, “and she ran out of the room crying. I wanted to go console her, but Ron cornered me and yelled that I wasn't really his best mate because otherwise I would have offered my virginity to him.”

"Oh, for heaven's sake," Hermione said. "This is absolutely outrageous. Have you no shame, Ron? You told me the same thing!"

"Well, it worked with Harry."

Hermione slapped Ron. Sibyll indicated to Harry that he should continue.

“Anyway,” Harry said, “I… er… felt really guilty that I didn't give Ron priority, so I conjured up a tub of orange and black Crisco and then let Ron shag me on his sister's bed."

Hermione glared at Ron, absolutely disgusted.

"I was doing him a favor," Ron stated, matter-of-factly. "He was a bloke in need."

Sibyll rolled her eyes, which were magnified by her large glasses. "And then what happened, Harry?" she asked.

"Ginny returned," Harry replied. "She found us in bed together. She and Ron started fighting… and then they began throwing things… and then I got hit in the head with flying Crisco.”

“Then what?” Hermione asked.

“I was knocked unconscious. When I woke up, Ginny was already dead."

"And Ron?" Hermione asked.

"He was gone."

Everyone turned to face Ron, who paled.

"I… I didn't do it. How could I… she's my sister! I love my sister, even if she dresses... It… it was someone else. Dean Thomas! Yeah, that’s it. He came in looking for Ginny when he heard some noise. He was furious that she had dumped him for Harry and, when he saw Ginny's outfit and Harry naked and unconscious on the bed…"

"So you admit that Harry was knocked unconscious," Hermione said. "Enough. Tell it to the Wizengamot. Petrificus Totalus!" Hermione cried. Ron was immediately frozen in place.

Hermione angrily wiped away a tear from her cheek as she lifted up a quill and documented Harry's testimony.

"And to think I gave you my virginity," Hermione muttered, under her breath. She then gestured to Sibyll to continue.

"Tell us what happened the next Halloween, Harry," Sibyll said. "On October 31, 1998."

"It was close to midnight," Harry said. "Cho and I met in the Astronomy Tower for our planned night of debauchery. But it didn’t work out that way. She tied me up with rope, and just before we started to make love we heard a creak in the ceiling. We looked up in the darkness. Cho didn't see anything, but I did.”

“What did you see?” Sibyll asked.

“Snape and Draco were hiding in the rafters above us. A tear trickled down Cho's cheek and then she whispered, ‘That noise was a sign. It’s Cedric, I just know it. I must go to his grave. I'm so sorry.’ I tried to stop her and tell her who I saw, but she just ran out of the room, leaving me tied up to face the fugitives."

“My god,” Hermione exclaimed. “What did they do to you?"

"They fucked me silly... then untied me."

"They just used you like that?!”

“Oh yeah,” Harry said dreamily.

“So... er... what happened next?” Sibyll asked uncomfortably.

"The last thing I remember is Snape telling Draco that they needed to stop Cho from announcing their whereabouts. I was fucked so hard that I passed out. When I woke up, she was dead."

Sobbing softly, Hermione documented Harry's testimony and gestured for him to continue. Ron stared at Harry, immobilized.

"What happened on October 31, 1999?" Sibyll asked.

"I was hiding in my office," Harry replied. "I was afraid that someone else would be hurt. But that didn’t stop Tonks from finding me. It seems that she and Remus had a fight the night before, and so she came looking for me to give her some comfort. She broke into my office and leapt on top of me. I tried to push her off, but I was too late – Remus had followed her and walked in on us.”

“Was he upset?” Hermione asked.

“He was furious,” Harry replied. “He told me he would take me dry for having the audacity to steal his girlfriend. The next thing I knew Remus's cock was up my arse and Tonks was screaming about how Remus had done the same thing when she had hit on Bill and Charlie.”

“Oh dear me,” Sibyll stated. “I if I had known that, I would have hit on Tonks."

Everyone looked at Sibyll strangely.

"Oh never mind," she muttered.

Hermione gestured for Harry to continue.

“Well, there wasn’t much I could do while Remus was burying his bone," Harry said. "Tonks grabbed a chair to hit him but whacked me in the head instead. I was knocked out."

"And when you awoke…?" Sibyll asked.

"She was dead," Harry replied.

"I'm so sorry, Harry," Hermione said, finishing her documentation of his story. "I understand why you blocked out these horrible memories." She handed her scroll to Hedwig, and sent her off to the Ministry so that Harry could be acquitted of the crimes.

Harry watched as his owl departed. “So, will I be cleared of all charges?” he asked.

“Oh yes, Harry. Spell-induced memory divinations are well documented ways of discerning a person’s guilt or innocence. It's in Hogwarts: A History.”

“But technically he wasn’t under my spell,” Sibyll pointed out, perturbed.

“You're right,” Hermione said. “I should have mentioned that in my letter to the Ministry.”

Hermione was about to pick up a quill when Harry interrupted her train of thought.

"You know, Hermione, I have more memories that we haven't discussed."

"Really?" she said.

"You never asked me about my other blackout."

"Your… other blackout," Sibyll repeated. "When did this happen?"

Harry picked up Hermione's wand and started toying with it. "It was on Halloween. October 31, 1981."

"The night your parents died?" Hermione asked.

"So it was," Harry replied. Harry uttered a locking charm which locked all of the windows and doors in the North Tower. "That was the night I killed them."

"What?" Hermione gasped.

"Voldemort arrived too late," Harry continued. "And he was very angry that a toddler beat him to killing off his sworn enemies, so he tried to kill me. But I was protected by my mother's love. She still loved me… even after what I'd done."

“That’s not possible,” Hermione said weakly.

“Well, anyone can turn into a killer on Halloween night,” Harry said. "And I do have the propensities."

"And Ginny, Cho, and Tonks, you killed them, too?" Hermione asked, the horrid realization hitting her. “But you just said that you were knocked unconscious when they died.”

“Yes, momentary unconsciousness does seem to send me into a murderous fit.”

Sibyll paled and glared at her crystal ball, as if her Inner Eye had somehow betrayed her. Ron looked very angry that he was still immobilized.

"Harry, put that wand down," Hermione said, her voice heavy with fear. "We're your friends. We love you. We can help you."

Sibyll reached for her wand.

"Expelliarmus," Harry cried. Sibyll's was knocked backwards and her wand flew into Harry's other hand.

"Do you know what Ginny told me before she died?" Harry asked Hermione.

There was a haunting silence. Tears streamed down Hermione's face.

"She told me that she loved me. And I told her that I loved her."

Hermione looked at Harry desperately.

"But everyone I love has to die."

Harry blacked out.

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  • fanfiction

    so aside from (which refuses to die), where is the bulk of hp fanfiction posted these days? twitter? Posted via LiveJournal app…

  • Question

    So I was scrolling through a number of HP communities that I used to frequent when I was active in the fandom several years ago and a lot of them are…

  • Epilogue

    Hi all, So I saw DH Part Deux on Friday night and then immediately went home and reread Epilogue -- my slash parody of the DH epilogue that I…